THE POOP HOSPITAL
Change the world with your annual poop
at Mountain Viewtopia General Hospital, home of the world-renowned Fecal Ward.
Experience MetaFecal Magic
Long ago, humans discovered the miraculous health benefits of sharing poop and, since that discovery, we’ve made great progress in honing our techniques. HG Dynamics brought us into the modern age by developing the 3M suppositories for Mandatory MetaFecal™ Management. While they help your gut breed intelligent bacteria that can convert your body’s natural waste into fuel, you will need to evacuate your bowels as part of a yearly routine. While many public pooping locations provide legal relief, you can do more for your gut while concurrently contributing to the MSSR. Best of all? If you make use of HG Dynamic’s UBIP™ package your annual visit is completely free!
What a difference one poop can make!
Your annual poop should be special—not just to you, but to society. The Fecal Ward at MVT General operates on one undeniable fact: the human body’s sustainability dances with fate atop the precipice of gut health. A well-maintained colon not only leads to a longer life, but one filled with happier and healthier years. Our comprehensive MetaFecal™ Transplant (MFT) procedure will combine the contents of your bowels with thousands of your proximate neighbors. For greater equilibrium, we also utilize a 20% mix of the Multinational Stool Sample Reserve (MSSR). Through advanced medical science, we’ve created the world’s most balanced blend of feces in human history.
Solving poop’s puzzles
While we’ve discovered the broad implications of MetaFecal™ transplants on the human gut biome, we’ve yet to fully understand them. The underlying reasons for the efficacy of common bowel exchange remain a mystery of modern medicine. In order to discover the true healing power of our mixed waste product, it is more vital than ever to collect samples. By pooping in our hospital once a year you contribute to your health. and the health of others. You do it not only for today, but for tomorrow as well.
Comfort and companionship
MetaFecal™ Transplants aren’t just about your gut health but your mental health as well. In addition to the neurotransmitter equilibrium your MFT will prime you to achieve, you’ll enjoy the procedure in complete comfort with a new friend you’ve yet to meet so you can make your annual poop an unforgettable experience together.
Your poop saves lives
At MVT General, you don’t just make a bowel movement—you make a difference.